Is emo music the best music EVAR?!?!

Simply put; no. Fucking no. Why would you ask that? I know I'm the one who asked it, but I asked it as if it was a question in general that people were having , but it's simply unnecessary. Shame on Hypothetical You for needing that to be answered. Emo music is not music. It is a very loud and annoying tragedy that trendy idiots everywhere are enjoying. How dare you enjoy a tragedy? You're sick.

Emo music came from the combination of two very distinctive sounds. The first sound is of heavy metal. This is the sound you hear at the beginning of the song. BE WEARY! You aren't listening to metal, do NOT let your guard down and let your mind believe you are listening to kick-ass music. If your head starts to bang, hold it back with both hands. You may want to poke yourself directly in the eye to snap yourself out of this.

This first sound is just a deadly trap. It's sucking you into a horrible lie. Emo is not metal. It is nothing like metal. If these two genres had to be related I would say metal is the badass uncle who buys you shit and lets you do whatever you want to, and emo music is the obnoxious aunt that's always nagging at the top of her lungs. That bitch ruins every family gathering (as if they were going to be fun anyway) with her dramatic bullshit and you wonder every day why your badass uncle married that bitch.

I've already alluded to the second sound; loud bitching. Every emo band has a total bitch to shriek at you in every song. I'm not sure if they're shrieking at you because you've done something wrong or because they're on their period. I'm thinking it's the second one. If guys could have periods, the result would be an emo singer. That's the only way to explain the sound of dying animals that these bitches emit from their throat every time they open their fucking mouths.

I guess the music isn't all that bad. it's just the disappointment of hearing an intro that could be coming from a band like Tool and then to be hit with that faggy wailing... it just makes me sad in the pants. Emo music: stop pretending to be something you're not. If you're gonna have the gay punk vocals, please don't play power chords. In fact, I recommend discarding the guitar altogether and using a ukulele. At least then you wouldn't be hypocrites.


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