The REAL Thanksgiving - By Sam

Now kids, its time for me to tell you about the REAL thanksgiving.

Don't listen to all of that pilgrim bullshit, its all just a cover up by the C.I.A (and Mcdonalds). The real thanksgiving occurred in the year 2538, The cyborg zombies had just broken through the fortress of solitude, leaving batman (who had taken over for superman while he was on vacation) alone with no back-up. Thankfully batman's martial arts skills and super rad gadgets helped him fight off many of the zombies, however sadly his lack of super powers inevitably ended up with him being tossed around like a joint. Once the cyborg zombies had taken over the fortress of solitude all hope seemed lost. But there was still one hero, one man, a man of many identities, policemen, homosexual father to a little baby, and helper of elderly people who frequent alien cocoon filled swimming pools. Thats right, none other then the great warrior Steve Gutenberg.

Now Steve knew the task at hand would be a difficult one, but he was up to the challenge. President Danny Tanner ordered Steve Gutenberg to go back in time and enlist the help of Abraham Lincoln, Sadly time travel hadn't been invented yet, so he settled for the next best thing, he went and talked to the great Cyborg Zombie Abraham Lincoln. Which was an awful idea because Zombie Lincoln tore off his head and used it as a sombrero. And once again, all hope was lost, or was it?







Yea it pretty much was.








So the cyborg zombies killed off the majority of the human race, and decided to thank the humans, since it was their technology that made their life possible. They thanked them by throwing a grand feast known as Thanksgiving (or UUUUUGUGUUHUHU BLEEP BLOOP, to the cyborg zombies) Eventually Dr. Emmit Brown jr. III Esquire PHD MD invented a time machine run solely off of his anal feces, which allowed him to go back in time to warn the humans of their impending doom. Sadly the cyborg zombie king Larry King (who managed to slip through the cracks and pass him self off as a zombie) Found out about this technology and had Emmit Brown BURNED AT STEAK HOUSE, which was a popular tourist attraction at the time. Larry King sent some of his zombie minions back in time, all the way to the 1600's , and it was the zombies, not pilgrims who actually killed and enslaved the indians. And since they're good zombies, they once again threw a feast for their victims, and thus Thanksgiving was born(again).

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