Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Spiderman 3 - Movie Review
















Spiderman 3 - Movie Review

Biggest movie of 2007!




And it sucked

Warning spoilers
ahead!


There are so many things wrong with this movie, in fact its so bad that it is actually hilarious . I laughed harder at this then i do at most comedies.

Here is what i got out of spiderman 3

* If someone kills your father, steal his girlfriend
* Pie is sooo good
* Mary jane's lips taste like strawberry
* Who gives a fuck about a giant crane destroying the city, you saved some hot chick!
* Watch out for the symbiont , it will make you a piano playing,jazz dancing,emo evil son of a bitch!
* Weird scientific test facilities are guarded only by a 5 foot tall fence.
* Stan lee is an amazing actor, therefor he does not need a reason to make a cameo, nor does he need well written lines.
* Who needs Spider-Man to save the day and whip ass when we can watch Peter cry and dance badly for 90 minutes?
* Norman Osbourne apparently had a cheesy velvet painting of himself made before he died.
* If you become Venom, you can find the Sandman in the nearest dark alley.
* Venom likes being bad, it makes him happy
* American news reporters have British accents.
* Pumpkin bombs can destroy chunks of buildings , however if it explodes on harry , it turns him into the phantom of the opera.

Cheesy lines,bad cgi,and a terrible plot all made this a pretty shitty movie, they had about 5 storylines going on at the same time and they where all badly developed. I felt like it was all just some sick joke by Sam Raimi , i was hoping he would pop up somewhere and say "Gotcha bitch! heres the real spiderman 3 , the one with a script that doesn't suck massive dick". But sadly that never happened

This movie was 2 and a half hours to long


i give it a 2 out of 5.

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